Just updating

I doubt anyone reads this, so I am really writing for myself I guess. I am coping with all of this much better now. I have more energy than I have had in a while. I am becoming more self concious though. It's odd huh. Before at 320 I had no problems being the fat girl. I never even gave a second thought about my weight, but now I focus on it a lot. I am well aware now how overweight I am and how people view me. I also am obsessed with what I am putting in my body. I would never eat half of the shit I did before the surgery. Plus I am hardly ever hungry now. I wake up around 9 or 10 every morning and I am not hungry until about 7 or 8 at night. It's weird. Because Lord knows that before I would graze on food all damn day.

I will admit I am not eating my three meals a day like I am suppose to. It's hard to force yourself to eat, but I am working on it. I am also not getting as much protein as I am suppose to, but I am working on that as well.

I just found out my friend Bobbi got approved for surgery on April 27th and my friend Pam has surgery on May 2nd. I am very excited for them.

One Month Later......Still Fat

Okay so March 17th was my one month mark. As of the 17th I have lost 40 lbs. I would say that's pretty good for a month. I can now eat pretty much whatever I want, just not too many carbs. I find that eating bread doesn't agree with me very well. Other than that I can eat most anything, just not much. A usual meal for me is two or three bites of chicken, beef, or turkey, two bites of veggies and that's about it. I did manage to eat half of a Krispy Kreme doughnut the other day. It wasn't the healthiest thing I could have put in my mouth, but I was craving one. lol

I can now fit into every pair of jeans I own. I am so excited about that. I promise that sometime this week I will upload some pics for you guys. I promise really. I have been so lazy. Sorry. I also lost my job on the 15th, but I had two interviews today so hopefully something will pull through for me.

The Long Walk In

Today I arrived late to work because I love sleep too much, and I got a crappy parking space. I had to park pretty far out. Before surgery I always dreaded this hike into the office because by the time I would reach my desk I was out of breath. Today I walked a brisk step and never got winded. It was GREAT! I never thought 30 lbs. would make that much difference, but it sure does. I feel so much healthier. I can walk forever now and not get winded. That rox my sox!

I do feel bad for my poor hubby though, because since the surgery I have had no sex drive. It's odd really. I mean I love sex...really love sex. I use to bitch if I didn't get it every day and it's been three weeks today and I am not complaining on bit. I just don't feel like it. I hope this changes soon. Luckily he has been great and not even asking for it. He does his usual groping of my breasts, which I enjoy and making comments about what he wants to do to me, but he hasn't tried to have sex yet. I love that man! Although I do feel the need for an awesome orgasms coming on. lol

Today I tried tortilla soup for lunch and it was delicious! I loved it! I could eat it every day. It was so yummy! I think it could have used more tomatoes, but that's just my opinion. Ever since the surgery I have had this strange craving for salsa, hot sauce, and tomatoes. It's odd. I never really liked tomatoes before, but I crave them now. Weird. I have also noticed that since the surgery my skin tends to be on the dry side. I think I am going to start putting on baby oil when I get out of the shower and see if that helps. I think I will post a picture of my scars for all to see over the weekend. I know you are excited. lol.

20 Days Down

So far so good. I have been able to keep everything down. I have noticed that most foods seem bland to me know. Like I need hot sauce on everything for it to have flavor. It's weird. I have been eating stuff like tuna salad, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, and chicken salad, since all are high in protein. I try to get in as much protein as possible, but it's hard. I do my best and that's all I can do.

Today I woke up so nauseous. I felt like crap. But by 10 a.m. I was feeling much better. It's so nice to get dressed in the morning and my clothes aren't all tight and crap. I love it. Just from looking at me I can't tell I have lost any weight, but I can when I put on my clothes.

I need to go buy a scale so I can do a weekly weigh in. I guess I will buy one this week. When I originally had surgery I went to Wal-Mart to get one, but they all only went to 280, and I was 320 so I didn't buy one. But now I am 296 so I am sure by Friday I would be at 280 or close.

Today is my third day back to work and I am enjoying applesauce for lunch. Sad thing is, it takes me forever to eat the smallest amount of applesauce, but I am determined to get it all down. Last night I tried to eat a half of a cup of cottage cheese, and it just was not happening. I had 4 bites and was completely full. It's so weird to fill up so quickly. My lust for food is finally stopping though. I am finally realizing there is more to life than food. I never thought this would happen, but it has. I mean there are times I forget to eat. Trust me, that never happened before.

Well it's my lunch time, so I gotta jet.

2 weeks down

I went in on Friday for my two week check up and I have lost 28 pounds. That's pretty damn good for two weeks. My jeans actually fit properly now instead of me having to suck in and be uncomfortable for the first 30 mins. lol

I am now on soft foods, and I am handling this whole thing so much better. At first I missed food so much, but not anymore. I am not sore at all, which rocks! My friends say my face looks slimmer, but I can't really tell a difference.